How The Butthead Effect tried to ruin Christmas

You know how sometimes you're totally engrossed in doing your own thing but then someone runs up and is all "you HAVE to come check this out!" like they want to show you the greatest thing ever, so you stop what you're doing to check it out and it is so NOT the greatest thing ever?

I call this "the Butthead Effect." Because the person interrupting you for some bulls**t is totally a butthead.

Jesse demonstrates the Butthead Effect to me ALL. THE. TIME. Here is the story of the most recent occurrence.

It's Friday night. We have our house all decorated for Christmas, and feeling the spirit of the season, I decided to turn on Netflix and watch my most favorite holiday movie of all: White Christmas.

So there I am, sitting on the couch all cuddled up under a blanket, watching my favorite Christmas movie under the soft glow of our Christmas tree lights. It was wonderful and cozy:

See, this is the scene where they all decide to go to Vermont, and they sing a lovely song about snow.

 

And I was all:
 

 

But my reverie was interrupted by Jesse hollering at me to come to the garage because I just had to come check something out. He sounded so insistent that I thought there must be some emergency. So I leapt up from the couch to go see what he was screaming about.

Guess what he had to show me? Go on, guess. Guess what was such an emergency that I had to pause White Christmas and throw my blanket off to go look at.

 

 

You see, Jesse had found out earlier that day that the guy who killed himself in our house did it in the garage. We still don’t know the exact details, but Jesse had spent the better part of the day looking for evidence that the guy had died by a gunshot. And he interrupted my Christmas movie to make me look at this potential suicide bloodstain.

For the record, we later all agreed that the stain looked NOTHING like blood, and the guy had probably just run his car in the garage or something anyway. But the damage was done. My Christmas glow was ruined for the night.

THESE TWO SCENES DO NOT GO WELL TOGETHER.

Here are some more (thankfully hypothetical) examples to help deepen our understanding of the Butthead Effect:

Example 1: A new mom spends some time with her baby

 

 

What's the surprise outside? Is it better than a baby's first smile?

OF-FREAKING-COURSE NOT.
 

 

Being interrupted while looking at a new baby’s first smile to go look at roadkill:

TOTAL BUTTHEAD EFFECT.

Example 2: A guy tries to propose to his girlfriend

He's about to drop to one knee when all of a sudden, his roommate bursts out onto the patio:

 

 

What's the emergency? Is it more important than asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you?

YOU TELL ME.

 

 

 

Being interrupted while trying to propose because there's a cat using the toilet on TV:

MEDIUM BUTTHEAD EFFECT.
(because let's face it; I would totally want to see that. Just maybe not during a proposal.)

Example 3: Two friends are absorbing some really bad news

Oh boy, I bet whatever he wants to show them is totally more important than maybe having cancer!

...

[speechless]

...

EPIC BUTTHEAD EFFECT.

THAT ISN'T EVEN THAT IMPRESSIVE OF A SLUG. 

So, friends, just keep this in mind for next time you’re tempted to make someone drop everything and come check something out: the thing you want them to look at is probably not NEARLY as cool as you think it is. So choose wisely and don't be a butthead.

Don’t make me sprint up the stairs just to smell your rancid nasty fart. Don't make me abandon my dinner to get a good look at the cockroach that crawled out of the drain before you kill it. 

AND DON'T MAKE ME TRY TO IDENTIFY BLOODSTAINS.

ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF WHITE-MOTHERF***ING-CHRISTMAS.

THAT'S HOW CHRISTMAS GETS RUINED.

Incidentally, Jesse has fallen prey to the Butthead Effect so many times that now I'd probably ignore him if he tried to make me come see a bald eagle violently raping a wild turkey on the hood of my car.

And that's just sad. Because I'd really like to see that.

I bet we all would.

Butthead.