Other stuff I'm not sentimental about

We've already established that I'm not terribly sentimental about animals. As we pack up the house to prepare to move, I've realized that I'm also not terribly sentimental about a lot of other things. You would not believe the shit I was throwing away without a second thought.

I threw away whole photo albums

I was ridiculously skinny in high school. For a while, I had a bright pink streak in my hair. I went to prom both junior and senior year.

How many photos does it take to prove all this? Approximately three. So the rest of the albums with pictures from high school? TRASH EM. It's not like I'm gonna go through them some day and reminisce about that horrible awkward phase I went through, and that decision to frequently wear really short denim shorts. I DON'T EVER WANT TO REMINISCE ABOUT THAT.

NOT EVEN NOW.

IN FACT, I KIND OF WANT TO GIVE MYSELF A LOBOTOMY.

Look how skinny I was though, and how cool that streak in my hair was:

YEAH, YOU JEALOUS.

I threw away most of the shit in my "memory box"

I've had that memory box for a bajillion years. Over time, it morphed from being a repository for cherished memories to being a repository for important things like passports and green cards. So I decided to look through it and see what all was actually in there, and what needed to be moved to a more secure location.

Dudes, I threw like 3/4 of that shit away. Maybe more.

A ticket stub from a movie I don't remember seeing? Seriously? Must have been a first date with someone I don't remember dating. GOOD THING I KEPT THAT. But dude, remember when movies were cheap? Those were the days.

I had even kept a receipt from what I thought at the time was a notably expensive dinner.

If something from the past is worth remembering, I'll remember it without any help from bits of flotsam and trash. And if it's not worth remembering, then all those bits of flotsam do is make me want to give myself another lobotomy. Looks like the first one didn't take.

I threw away whole notebooks full of unsent letters and poems

Oh boy, I can't wait to have my kids read through and learn about the time I was mad at someone I'm no longer friends with! And live my teenage/young adult angst vicariously through some shitty poetry!

NOT.

I WISH I HAD A BIG INCINERATOR SO I COULD PERFORM A CEREMONY WHILE I BURN THIS CRAP.

I mean, yeah, letters to/from George Washington are really valuable and tell us a lot about his life. But I'm no George Washington. No one is going to miss these historical relics.

I do still have a lot of clothes left over from high school, though. But that's not sentimental -- it's practical. THAT SHIT STILL FITS ME!

Bam.

Plus, you never know -- maybe that prom dress will come back in style and I can wear it to the ball. Stranger things have happened.

Haha! No they won't. It will be years before you get there, kiddo. YEARS.

For the record, though, if I had a diary with entries like "Today I pooped my pants," I would have kept it. I swear.