How to tell the sex of the baby you're carrying based on the shape of your belly

I am, at this point, very, very pregnant. There's no pretending I'm just kind of fat, or that I have some undisclosed health problem. I'm pregnant, and anyone with eyes can see it easily. Even very small children will now ask me if I'm "growing a baby."

This condition lends itself to a bit of running commentary from strangers, which has taught me a lot about the art of guessing the baby's sex based on the shape and height of the pregnant woman's belly.

To give context to the rest of this post, here is a recent photo of the dramatic and somewhat hilarious current shape of my body:

Anyone else trying to reach into the picture and dust that mirror? 

No? Just me?

With this shape in mind, here are some excerpts from conversations I have had recently:

Chipotle cashier: Are you having a boy?

Me: Yes!

Chipotle cashier: A-ha! I knew it!

Other Chipotle employee: How could you tell?

Chipotle cashier: Because the belly is sort of high and sticking straight out! It only does that with boys!

CONCLUSION #1: If belly is high and sticking straight out, baby is boy.

CONCLUSION #2: My belly is high and sticking straight out.

________________________

Asian grandma at spray park: Are you having a boy?

Me: Yes!

Asian grandma at spray park: [grins happily] I knew it because of how low your belly is!

CONCLUSION #1: If belly is low, baby is boy.

CONCLUSION #2: My belly is low.

Waaaaaait, time out ...

________________________

Lady in line for bathroom at Farmers' Market: Is your daughter excited to have a little sister? [yes, people really are this confident with their guesses]

Me: I wish! I'm actually having a boy this time.

Lady in line for bathroom at Farmers' Market: Oh really?? I thought for sure it must be a girl, because your belly is so low and straight out in front like that!

CONCLUSION #1: If belly is low and straight out in front, baby is girl.

CONCLUSION #2: My belly is low and straight out in front.

This is starting to get really confusing.

________________________

Out of town coworker visiting the building: Okay wait, don't tell me ... it's a GIRL?

Me: Nope! Boy.

Out of town coworker visiting the building: WHAAAT? Really? It can't be! Your belly is so high and round, like a basketball! That has to be a girl!

CONCLUSION #1: If belly is high and round like a basketball, baby is girl.

CONCLUSION #2: My belly is high and round like a basketball.

To summarize:

If you are having a boy, your belly will probably be high, or low, and it will probably stick straight out in front, and it might look like a basketball but it might not.

If you are having a girl, your belly will probably be high, or low, and it will probably stick straight out in front, and it might look like a basketball but it might not.

I hope that this has been helpful.

Also, here is a nice comparison shot between my first and second pregnancies, taken at the exact same time (okay, one day of difference) in the same mirror at home. As you can see ...

... they look exactly the f***ing same. 

I even cut out the background and stacked them:

freeeeeeaky

The belly is a little bigger this time, which is almost certainly because this is not my first pregnancy. But the shape of the bump and its height on my body is not really that different. I think the size accounts for 95% of the lower-ness you see this time round.

... the lower-ness that strangers can't even seem to agree on.

This whole exercise has been pointless.