The few things I WILL miss about DC

Okay, okay, there are a few things about this city that aren't so bad I guess. I might even miss them. Here is a list of things I will actually miss about this place:

1

Running to Work

With a little help from the Metro, I am able to run to work in the morning whenever I want. It's a great way to get five miles in without burning up a bunch of time, and let's face it: the run is gorgeous. Here are a few of the sights I get to pass as I jog:

I get to watch planes take off and land from National Airport as the sun rises behind the Capitol across the river.

The Jefferson Memorial looks lovely from the 14th Street Bridge !

Why, is that the Washington Monument that I stop at for a sip of water?

The last mile is straight down the Mall, heading towards the Capitol.

I will definitely miss these spectacular views.

It's okay though; when we get to our neighborhood on the west coast I'll get to run past things like this:

So, y'know, it's not a total loss.

2

Righteous Shoving

There's no better way to exorcise a little rage than with some good old-fashioned shoving. And there's no better place to get your shoving done than in the Metro.

Tourist stops suddenly right in front of you? Barrel into 'em and don't apologize! Dumbass stops right at the top of the escalator to pull out the handle on their rolling suitcase? Kick over the suitcase and make it seem like it was their fault! Sure it's petty, but it really does make me feel good.

In Seattle, everyone is too nice to want to shove. I'm going to have to get a punching bag or something.

3

WANKERRRRRRRRS

DC hashing is the best. You've all been such great friends and we're going to miss the shit out of you!

4

Murphy's Irish Pub in Old Town

I sing Irish tunes better when I'm drunk! Everyone agrees!!!

5

The Cheap Sketchy Liquor Store Near My Office

Ah, what a beautiful sight. Everything there is so cheap! And they sell Everclear -- in HANDLES! For only $28.99, you could easily kill a small horse. What a wonderful establishment.

There's just one thing you have to watch out for ...

Derrr, maybe I won't miss it so much after all.

Catch you on the flip side, DC!