This idea was so fundamentally stupid that I simply had no choice but to give it a whirl.
The results are astonishing. I'm giggling like an idiot right now at what is, without a doubt, the worst artwork this blog has ever seen. Every one of these drawings requires the same caption: "Kill me."
Here are a few animals that should never be bred with weiner dogs to achieve that low-and-flat look:
I thought maybe if I drew him smiling, he would look less like he needed to be immediately put out of his misery.
It didn't work.
He looks really ... determined or something. Probably determined to get hit by a train.
Something has gone wrong here. I mean even more wrong than with the others. I think it's that one googly eye. What even happened there.
I then decided to up the ante by drawing some more vertical animals. It's easy enough to take a horizontal animal like a cat and stretch it out ... but could I do the same with something like a ...
He eats mostly ants I think.
And for my peak creation, may I present to you:
I just ...
This should never have been attempted.