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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Little things that stress me out

Over the course of living one's life, there are plenty of small things that can be stressful. I’m not talking about major life-altering events here – I’m talking tiny little things that are so unimportant they shouldn’t even make the radar screen … yet there they are. Raising my blood pressure just that tiniest little bit.
You know exactly what I'm talking about. And if you don't, you're about to.
Here are a few of the little daily annoyances that stress me out:
The Shampoo-to-Conditioner Ratio is Off 

I buy shampoo and conditioner at the same time, in the same sized bottle. I use both every time I wash my hair. And yet, inevitably, as they start to get closer to the bottom of the bottle, one of them pulls dramatically into the lead. I know I’d like to buy both in the same sized bottle again when they’re empty, so it doesn’t help me a bit to have one run out before the other. AND YET THEY WANT TO DO JUST THAT. 

This, of course, leads to insane wasting of one and insane rationing of the other, with the goal being to even them out a little bit before they run out.  

It always ends poorly.

The Garbage Can is Getting Full 

It’s getting full, but it isn’t completely full. It’s not ready to go out yet … but it’s a close one. With each additional item that gets stuffed in on top of everything else, my anxiety increases. I know eventually something is going to fall off the top. What’s it going to be? Something reasonable, like a balled-up paper towel?


Or something foul and awful?

 You do NOT want to be there when it goes under the fridge.

We’re Getting Moderately Low on Milk 

I usually go grocery shopping on the same day each week. But we don’t really have a good milk-drinking schedule – sometimes, the gallon is gone in a week. Sometimes it lingers for 11 or 12 days. So what do I do when it’s getting kind of low, but there’s still a lot, and I’m about to go to the grocery store? WHAT DO I DO??? 

Do I buy a half-gallon, which might only last a few days?

Do I buy a full gallon, which might go bad before we have a chance to drink it all?


Getting Unevenly Tan from the Car Window 

When the weather’s fine, I like to drive with the window down. But then one arm starts to get tan. And then what? THEN WHAT?

 I look like a FOOL, that’s what!

So then I have to make Jesse drive, and I have to hang my other arm out the passenger window.

But then what if I overshoot the mark?
Arghhh, I just need to start keeping sunscreen in the car.

Nothing to Snack on at Work 

My stomach is a ruthless master that the rest of me must always obey. I have trained my body to have a very fast metabolism and to not store much fat, which is great most of the time. But sometimes, it’s quite a cause for concern.

 Basically, when I get hungry, I need to eat. And I get hungry every couple of hours. So if I don’t have anything to snack on, this happens:

 Which means I need to be proactive. At conferences, I’ve been known to squirrel away bagels and muffins from breakfast in my purse ... and then sneak into the bathroom to stuff them down my face.
This is my secret shame. 

I then steal more food from lunch.


I even take my dinner leftovers to go, despite having no refrigerator or fork in my hotel room, just in case I get hungry late at night or before breakfast.
Have I eaten room-temperature lo mein with my hands? Yes I have.


Don’t judge me.

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