Today is a very exciting day!!

What's exciting about today? Well, take a look at this:

And then this one from just a few minutes later ...

*refresh* 
*refresh* 
*refresh* 
*refresh* *refresh* *refresh* *refresh* *refresh* 

Now, you may be thinking "50,000 views isn't that many. Tobey Maguire's fan page gets that many hits in an hour, and Tobey Maguire sucks!"

And you're right, Tobey Maguire does suck.

But ... I'm not Tobey Maguire. I'm not George Takei. I'm not Buzzfeed.

I'm just some tiny little thing, writing a blog on the internet for no money because I enjoy it. So to me, 50,000 views is a lot. People have clicked over to read what I've written, and hopefully laughed at it, almost 50,000 separate times. So I'm happy!!!

*refresh* *refresh* *refresh* *refresh* 

I started writing this blog because a friend told me I should. My first post got around 25 views, and I was pretty stoked about that.

Now it's a year and a half later, and I'm averaging almost 6,000 views per month. And that's with only posting 2-3 times per week! Wheeee!!!!!

*refresh* *refresh* *refresh* *refresh* 

You guys I'm getting excited about this totally random milestone that I've decided is important. What should we do to pass the time until 50,000? Here is a drawing I made:

Do you like it? I think it's fabulous. It's really been the drawings that have made this blog what it is. I mean yeah, sure, my most viewed posts have been my birth story (because it has the words "gory" and "gruesome" in the title and the Internet loves that shit), and a post about adult diapers (because the Internet is full of fetishists), and the art wasn't really the cornerstone of either of those posts ... but let's be honest; you all come here to look at my f'art.

And yes, that is a crocodile eating a human butt. See?

Always gotta spell it out for ya.

*refresh* *refresh* *refresh* *refresh* 

AHHHHH THIS IS TAKING FOREVER.

I CAN'T HANDLE ITTTTTTTT.

*refresh* *refresh* *refresh* *refresh* 

So close I can practically taste it!

Holding breath holding breath holding breath ...

Also, those are supposed to be fireworks exploding around it.

"But they don't look anything like fireworks," you protest. "They're so bad."

        ... did you really expect them to be good?

I drew this and put it online where everyone could see it, for f*ck's sake.

Thanks for reading, and a happy Friday to everyone! 

Happy 50K to me! I don't care if you're not excited -- I AM EXCITED.