In the meantime, here are links to my top ten most-viewed posts, if you want to do some catching up or just relive the glory of the posts that don't suck:
1. The Current State of Baby Names: A post in which I rant about people giving their kids stupid-ass names in the interest of being "unique."
2. The Big Bang Theory Isn't Funny: A post from before I started censoring f-bombs, in which I rant about how much that stupid show sucks.
3. A Plot Review of Top Gun: A post in which I make fun of every young boy's favorite movie.
4. Movies I Haven't Seen: Gremlins: A post in which I drive the movie Gremlins off a cliff.
5. What is the Big Deal About Downton Abbey?: A post in which I try -- and mostly fail -- to understand why everyone is so bloody obsessed with that show.
6. How to Fast-Forward the Gun Control Debate: A comic to fast-forward any gun control debate right to the fun part where you call each other idiots.
7. The One with the Pictures of the Big-Headed Babies: There's other stuff in this post too, but let's face it -- we're here for the baby that looks like Mr. Magoo.
8. Angry Eyebrows: One of my personal favorites! A post in which I draw angry eyebrows onto beloved cartoon characters and make them look terrifying/insane.
9. Dear Men: No, I am not pregnant. Sincerely, Women: A post in which I overflow with rage at the rudeness and presumption of people who constantly ask women if they're pregnant.
10. Movies I Haven't Seen: Harry Potter: Taking a wild stab at the plot of the entire Harry Potter series, based on the fact that I have seen 1.2 of the movies and absorbed nothing.
I'll be back with more posts in about a week. Unless I check myself into rehab for "exhaustion" when it's totally obvious to everyone that I just have a drug problem.
At least, I will as soon as I figure out how to turn my duck tour whistle into a "quack pipe."
COME ON GUYS, THAT'S HILARIOUS.